Blockchain-Adjacent Storytelling™ (BAS) is the next frontier in marketing innovation.

BAS allows you to completely re-engineer how you position your brand. By utilizing zero actual Web3 architecture, you will eliminate the pesky overhead of gas fees, smart contracts and actual coding. Instead, you can focus on what truly matters: making your corporate narrative so thoroughly decentralized and fragmented that it can completely and effortlessly survive a seed-round due diligence check.

Absolutely no actual blockchain or ledger technology is involved.

How does it work?

Proof of Hype:

You replace the traditional proof-of-work algorithm with a complex consensus mechanism powered entirely by group chats and Twitter spaces.

Distributed Confusion:

By scattering your core value proposition across 45 disconnected discussions in the lunch room, no single auditor can ever track down what your product actually does.

Immutable Buzzwords:

Our proprietary algorithm ensures that phrases like “synergistic paradigm shift” are permanently cryptographically secured into your pitch deck.

Key features of BAS include:

• Proof of Concept: You prove you have a concept, nothing more.
• Smart Contracts: Verbal agreements you immediately forget about after shaking hands.
• Immutable Roadmap: A PDF with a lost the password to edit so it literally cannot change.
• Dashboard of Confusion: Every single ROI dashboard you generate is completely unique and cannot be replicated by actual data science.
  
  

Slide into my DMs if you want to be part of the future of non-existent infrastructure! You will receive our 120-page tokenomics framework (spoiler: it’s just a PDF of a blank spreadsheet).

Contact us today to learn more.